It's been awhile (at least since June) since I have pulled out pictures and even sat down to watch our wedding video. Chris and me usually try to watch our wedding video together on each anniversary. Emma has recently been asked to be a flower girl in our youth leaders wedding and we felt the need to properly prepare her for the task. Emma is so much like me and has the need to be prepared in most situations. :)
So...we popped in the video and tears began to come to my face as I started to see how much time has changed so many things. I saw my Diddy (who died January 7, 2004) and my Grandaddy (who just recently passed away in March 2008)and it made me miss them so much. It seems like so much time has gone by, but then seeing them makes me feel as if I was just with them. Especially Diddy. I just miss calling him on the phone and chatting with him about life. I hate the fact that Emma will not know him like we did. Don't take me wrong, she hears about him, but she won't know him.
However, even after tearing up at the sight of our losses, I watched our video seeing how much Chris and me have grown and changed. In good ways. I look at our wedding and see that we were so much in love, but we knew very little about "commitment". Momma told me before marriage that there would be a day that the "feelings" would start to get challenging and the "commitment" to your marriage would start to begin. She was right. Boy, have we been tempted at times to just walk away and give up. But we are committed to each other. Not the marriage.
I looked at Chris and saw how much he has grown and aged. Aged...meaning he is not a young man...he is a man. He has taken on such burden for our family and for others. And he has always been committed to me. Even though I didn't know then what I know now, I am so glad that I chose him. He has been such a security for me and a support.
I am already beginning to pray for our little Emma's mate. I pray that she has a partner that is just as wonderful as her daddy. And she is watching us. She is modeling a bride and what she will want to do one day. I saw it in her eyes tonight when she asked me, " Mommy, you getting married?" She will have dreams just like I did. She will love and fall and love and one day do the very same thing that we did over seven years ago.
1 comment:
I love that picture girl. What a joy to have your diddy at your wedding. That is priceless. I know how you feel wanting your children to truly know, experientially, your dad. And I love your thoughts on the commitment aspect of marriage. So true.
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